How things change
They really do, sometimes you just know that the path you’re heading down is the right path to be taking, so you just run down it, paying little attention in what’s going on around you, because you are exactly where you want to be, with the people you want to be there with.
On January 7th this year, a path which I had long ago decided was not one I’ll be able to go down was opened up to me. This path as such, was a life with the greatest person to ever enter my life, Lynette Davies. The relationship I’ve had with her over the years is a hard one to explain, when I first met her she was with someone very close to me. We grew close and quickly became very good friends, able to confide in each other and trust each other with nearly any secret we happened to have. This friendship grew into much more than a friendship, we fell in love, at a time when we really shouldn’t have done.
Since then we’ve gone through a lot together, one major event that made us closer than ever before, and will live with us for the rest of our lives. It’s something neither us can forget, and neither of us want to forget. After that event, something else threw us apart, we had our first proper falling out, and it was a serious one. We didn’t speak for well over a year. We started speaking again in the July of last year, and instantly went back to our old ways. This was excellent, I loved speaking to Lynne again, I suddenly realised how empty my life was without her in it, how much I’d missed her since we’d last spoken, and how much of an idiot I had been for refusing to speak to her over something which was, in the grand scheme of things, a small thing to get mad over. This unfortunately came to an end sooner than I had hoped, her partner at the time got jealous of our relationship and we were forced to stop communicating.
This brings it back to January 7th, a few days before I got a message from Lynne. I can’t remember exactly what she said, but there were 2 things that struck me. The first was that she was communicating with me again, after months without contact for reasons mentioned before. The second was that she seemed very distressed. I later learned that her partner had left her completely out of the blue and that she had a complete mental break causing her to end up in hospital. Which is not the thing you want to be hearing from someone you consider to be your best friend, even if you haven’t been able to speak to them for a considerable amount of time.
We spent the next few days just chatting through the night, catching up and reminiscing about how things once were. Before we knew it, we had both decided that we were seeing each other again, we never asked each other how they thought, we just knew where we were. It’s a strange feeling to have that connection with someone, and it’s one I’m so glad I’ve found. So, January 7th, the day I finally got to be with the woman I love in a way that no one can have any real objections, nothing standing in my way, the path was opened.
So, nearly 3 months on from that date, and we’ve been running down that path together, aiming for the same goal, knowing that we both want it. The goal we’re running towards is a common one, but most people take it slowly, tip-toeing along, making sure that they are ready, their partner is ready and that people around them have accepted their relationship. Me and Lynne see things differently, we know what we want, and we know what the other wants, and that is a life together, marriage, kids and our own house. Growing old with each other and enjoying our lives along the way. We know each other well enough that we don’t feel the need to slow things down, we know what we’re doing is what we want and we know that we’re not going to change our minds about it.
Over Valentine’s Day, a big thing happened in our lives. One of the major things we’d been aiming for actually came to be. We got pregnant. Our life together had become an amazingly real thing that we would definitely never forget, our first child together was on the way. I couldn’t stop smiling, she couldn’t stop smiling, we were so ridiculously happy I’m sure we could have been declared insane (more so than already). Things unfortunately came crashing down to earth a few weeks later when Lynne collapsed in the bathroom. She booked an emergency appointment with the doctors to make sure everything was all right. What we learned, was that the pregnancy was ectopic, meaning the life of Lynne was in danger if things weren’t done to resolve the issue. We were forced into a situation we never wanted to be in, we were going to lose the baby. In the space of 2 months, we had managed to get to a stage where most couples would take years to get to, and then lose it all in a matter of days. We had the most extreme emotional rollercoaster I have ever experienced in the space of 2 weeks.
After managing to hit both ends of the emotional spectrum within a week, we’ve recently managed to find the middle ground and return to a state that we enjoy being in. The other night, a very interesting conversation took place. We were talking about where our relationship actually is, how we’re more than just boyfriend and girlfriend to each other due to how much we both want to be with each other. The next thing we knew, we woke up engaged and beaming from ear to ear just thinking about the conversation from the night before. Being engaged means a lot, it’s a sign of things to come, a step that was inevitable but still amazing to have finally got through. I can’t explain how amazing it is to finally be at this stage with the person I’ve always wanted to be with. Yes, we’ve missed the beautiful, romantic proposal and the shiny ring, but that is still going to happen, it’s an amazing gesture that I want to be able to provide when I’m able to, but for now, I think we’re both over the moon with being engaged, although it must feel weird for her, engaged but with nothing on her finger to show for it.
So, in under 3 months, we’ve gone from not talking to engaged, we’ve bounced through nearly every emotion possible, and managed to have to deal with a situation that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies. We’ve gone through more with each other in the last 3 months than some couples I know have gone through in the years they’ve been together. I don’t regret any of it, I’m happier now than I’ve ever been before, I’m with the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, and we know exactly where we’re going and are able to trust each other, and confide in each other more than anyone else I’ve ever known.
